Marriage problems or a relationship problem?

True happiness cannot be in reality achieved without having a continual, personal relationship with God here on earth and us knowing and following his will of our life too.

Too many of us seek do also now   an easy life, do take wrong shortcuts, want instant  rewards, happiness,  and as a direct result too we still do personally experience negative consequences in our life next as a direct  result too.

One of the most common topic in personal counseling I encounter often is a request for help for a troubled marriage relationship where generally only one of the spouses seeks help here and not the other one.

On the often next related subject of divorce between Christian spouses now there now re so many different views and all are supposedly valid, right to. Really? Why are there so many different views, different and contradiction even in the Biblical advices too? One God but so many different views. God personally severely still does punish those who destroys marriages, trouble the families.

It seems that many people tend to personally only seek God only when they have serious needs, problems or they do want something really bad and next when the problem is solved, or they got what they wanted, they next often tend to, do seem to forget about God again? But even all Christians now still do have major problems in life.. for there is a real devil who troubles us personally all of our life and we we are to resist him in the faith..

Dwelling on God brings us not only more happiness but it reduces our personal stress. https://cityocean.wordpress.com/2010/09/03/free-christian-resources-ebooks-wallpaper/

In regard to holy spirit miracles for divorced couples or broken, unhappily married homes.. if we look at the saints in the old and new testament we generally find no example of where the unhappily married persons were made happy again.. can you name one example? we find many examples of troubled marriages though.. just for a start King David’s, Job’s, Samson, etc., and why was that when so many evangelists, preachers now today do now claim the opposite.. if you accept Christ as Lord your home, and your marriage will be better… but for sure this not what Jesus had said..

“And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. (Mat 10:36 KJV)

God firstly does not recognize or bless ALL marriages, even though many people believe and teach that God’s grace and forgiveness means that getting married makes it okay to continue living in adulterous relationships, or to remain in adulterous marriages, marriages not made in the will of God.

The General Teaching of the New Testament Is that Divorce is Contrary to God’s Will, and that Remarriage Following Divorce mostly Constitutes Adultery. Marrying a persons not in God’s will for you is still an act of sinful lust now too.

You cannot live someone else’s life for them, or have them be what you want them to be, each person tends to live his own life and will give his own account as well for it..

(Luke 12:15 KJV) And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.

And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. (Mat 10:38 KJV)

Now in real life I have seen many persons preach their own views while they lived, until many of them next faced death and where they saw the error of their false teachings often too late.

What peeves me of is that the number one prayer request or complaint that I have heard for the last 50 years is I am unhappy with my marriage or I am still looking for a good soul mate.. firstly are you really a good person though yourself?

God is not mocked for what a person sows he reap, do bad things, choose the wrong mate and next pay for it still applies..

If you are divorced now, you confess your sins to God and ask for forgiveness, you are forgiven (1 John 1:9) and you now can move on with your life. If you can confess your sins here also to your former spouse and ask forgiveness without causing further hurt, you may seek to do so. From this point forward you should commit to honor all of God’s Word pertaining to your own future marriage. God still always wants us to live in peace. Then if your conscience permits you to next remarry, likely it may fail too, you should do so carefully and reverently when the time comes. Only do marry a fellow believer this time, one from God’s will.
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(1 Cor 14:1 KJV) Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye may prophesy.

Stop the cycle of violence, hate, revenge, abuses, divorce, separations..

Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God.” Matthew 22:29

A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; from the produce of his lips he shall be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:20-21

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Colossians 4:2

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Psalm 119:114

(Dan 9:3 KJV) And I set my face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplications, with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes: 4 And I prayed unto the LORD my God, and made my confession, and said, O Lord, the great and dreadful God, keeping the covenant and mercy to them that love him, and to them that keep his commandments; 5 We have sinned, and have committed iniquity, and have done wickedly, and have rebelled, even by departing from thy precepts and from thy judgments: 6 Neither have we hearkened unto thy servants the prophets, which spake in thy name to our kings, our princes, and our fathers, and to all the people of the land.

(1 Pet 5:5 KJV) Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:27-28 (NASB)

Personal accountability firstly, solely to God, where we confess, admit daily our our sins to God, and do renounce them, do agree to stop doing them is a fact of life for us all.

(1 John 1:9 KJV) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

(1 John 1:10 KJV) If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

(1 John 2:1 KJV) My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

A wife was devastated when her husband told her their relationship, marriage it was over, he didn’t love her anymore and he was going to divorce her immediately, clearly his heart was hardened and he wanted out. In fact he next had started to date another person almost immediately. The wife next resorted to false denials, where she tried to justify her past, present actions even falsely by focusing on how good she was, and she blamed her husband for all of the relationship, marriage failures. But, she did not look at the source of the basic marriage problems which was still her. She had here next asked me for help and I told her that GOD, was the only one who could work a miracle in her life and in her marriage! It was time she now seriously first followed after God herself. She repented of her sins and prayed and asked GOD to help her, and He did. After her first short immediate marriage restoration she immediately forgot about GOD. She again lost my husband’s affections and now had a chance to reflect on how she had treated God was next a reflection of how God treated her. She had to reflect again that God alone had turned her husband’s heart back to her. Next months later after the wife showed her commitment in following after God, the Husband and wife were reunited again. Ask God to come into your heart and to change you and others will see it as well.. Even hopefully your spouse.

But without a shadow of doubt God does not restore all separated, divorce marriages, especially common in law marriage or a marriage to an unbeliever.

And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,’ and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6

But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.” Malachi 2:15-16 (NKJV)

He heals the Broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. Isaiah 61:1-3,7

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. Proverbs 21:30

No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their vindication is from Me,” declares the LORD. Isaiah 54:17

The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases. Proverbs 21:1

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way? Proverbs 20:24

Stop controlling your own life, doing things your ways, rather surrender all to God, follow after God alone with all of your heart. Your own parents or teachers may have failed to prepare you properly for life, now let God do it instead.

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Galatians 5:6

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:12-13

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.” Hebrews 10:38

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. Hebrews 6:12

“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Behold, all those who were incensed against you shall be ashamed and disgraced; They shall be as nothing, And those who strive with you shall perish. You shall seek them and not find them–Those who contended with you. Those who war against you Shall be as nothing, As a nonexistent thing. For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, “Fear not, I will help you.” Isaiah 41:10-13

And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. 1 John 3:22
For nothing is impossible with God.” Luke 1:37

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Jeremiah 29:11 (AMP)

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:10-11

And this you do with double guilt; you cover the altar of the Lord with tears [shed by your unoffending wives, divorced by you that you might take heathen wives], and with [your own] weeping and crying out because the Lord does not regard your offering any more or accept it with favor at your hand. Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. Malachi 2:13-14 (AMP)

If you still do have a God shaped vacuum that is unfilled, then no other things, no relationships or careers, goals, next will satisfy you, not any personal, social, community relationships..